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January 6, 2010

Happy New Year to all!

Our Big Fat Celebration

So was your New Year’s Eve? Ours was kind of a giggle-fest. We learned in early December that there was no sparkly New Year’s Eve event, dinner, or soiree in Miami that you could attend for less than 250 bucks a person. Even our own building’s party would cost 500 big ones! A cabana at the Fountainbleu was 25 grand. Bet they sold a lot of those! We considered going out for Chinese Food and renting a movie, but Mark wanted to celebrate. Lucky for us, a country club in town was soliciting our membership. They had already treated Mark to a round of golf. Then they invited us to – Ta da! – their New Year’s Eve Party (normally 500 bucks a couple) as their guests. Mark didn’t think we should go. We weren’t likely to join the club and he’s very ethical about taking gifts under false pretenses. Me, I’m more of a bad girl, willing to push that ethical envelope. And besides, my facebook friends convinced me that by going, maybe we’d love the club so much that we’d join. Yeah! That’s true. We just might join! The Head of Membership promised to seat us with hip people from New York that she was certain click with. I was psyched. New friends! Yippee! Being new to Miami, I could use a few of those. I got all decked out in my finest evening wear – even pulled the fake diamonds out of the vault.

When they seated us, we were sure there was a mistake. Our dinner companions were all over 90 (as in, YEARS OLD!). I am not even exaggerating for comedy sake. Don’t get me wrong, they were lovely people (who had served in World War I). Truly, I have nothing against old octogenarians. I aspire to be one someday. But these were the hip people the membership director thought we’d click with? Maybe we’d misheard her. Maybe she promised to seat us among people with replaced hips. Of all the couples at our table, Mark and I had been married the longest, but only because we hadn’t buried any previous spouses.

Here I was, celebrating with people as old as my grandparents. Can you imagine how irked I felt when Mark happened to mention that the nude beach by our house was having the biggest nude New Year’s Eve party anywhere in the world. We could have gone to that for free and I wouldn’t have had to dress up!

But back to our new (old) friends. They tried to talk us out of joining the club, claiming it had seen better days. There was lots of reminiscing about the massive shrimp they used to serve in the glory days of the club. Louis, the man next to me, fell asleep while we ate and then, well, the picture says it all. Yes, he looked like Janet Reno. I’m not complaining. And there actually was a silver lining. This evening reminded me of why I love my husband so much. Mark finds the fun in any situation – there he was, downing whiskey shots the elders, twirling their wives on the dance floor, admiring Jules’ open heart surgery scar. He even got us the name of the best prostate man in South Florida. Irving showed me a thing or two about the cha cha cha and he did a pretty mean tango. Eventually, the ball dropped and we thanked everyone and left, crashing the party at our own building, which was in full swing. It turned out to be super fun. Lots of dancing, drinking and singing with the neighbors. Next year we won’t be such cheapskates. We’re going to the party at home.

Quinn Holiday Letter Portion
As you know, I’m kind of famous for my Quinn Annual Holiday Letter. This year, I’m shaking things up and writing a Quinn DECADE Holiday letter instead. Yes, I’m a maverick, just like John McCain.

Mark
Mark lost a lot of hair over the past ten years and for that he is sad. He attended tens of national and international track meets (including the Olympics) and for that he is happy. He worked his ass off for a subsidiary of AIG until he’d had it. Then he said, “Take this job and shove it,” kind of like the song. I was really proud of him for that. And it served AIG right! After he left, they didn’t know what to do. The company completely fell apart and had to be bailed out by the government. Ah, sweet vindication! Mark has spent the last year and a half at home hanging out in shorts (no, not boxers), trading stocks, and blasting CNBC from every TV set in our house all day long. I’ll be happy when he goes back to work, which is going to be soon. Actually, I loved having him home for the last eighteen months. He does all the laundry, cleans the kitchen, walks the dogs, gives me massages, pays the bills. He has been the perfect house husband.

Schuyler
Schuyler went from being a tween to a woman over the last 10 years. She graduated from high school and went right to Stella Adler Acting Conservatory. Now she has her own apartment in NY, a job, and pursues her passion every day. She loves it. Frankly, I’m jealous. Wouldn’t it be fun to have your own Manhattan apartment (that mom and dad pay for!) and go to acting school? Plus, she’s so beautiful and sweet and adorable that nice guys line up to take her out on the town any time she wants. Ah, that’s the good life.

Sam
In the last decade, Sam went from being an adorable, talkative little boy to being a withdrawn, angry and then a considerate, cool teenager. Don’t you hate it when kids go through those awkward stages? Anyway, he was pretty pissed when we ripped him from the only life and friends he’d ever known and moved him to the hell-hole known as Miami Beach. He took his anger out on his parents (I know you’re surprised). I was just about to have him kidnapped and sent to one of those wilderness camps where he would hopefully experience an epiphany and realize how much he appreciated and wanted to please his parents. But then, without resorting to drastic measures, he miraculously turned around and became the Sam we knew and loved. Maybe it had to do with getting a car. Perhaps it was that he started to work out. Or who knows, maybe he overheard me plotting his abduction. All I know is that I have my boy back and for that, I’m grateful.

Karen
Finally, moi. At the beginning of 2000, I was at American Express slogging away in the trenches. By 2001, I’d been fired. After that, I started Smart City Kids, left that business, wrote a novel about the experience, then wrote 5 more books – 3 novels, 1 young adult novel that didn’t sell (rats!), and my newest book that comes out this summer – Testing For Kindergarten (more about that in future newsletters). I’ve gotten involved with Hollywood (something I never would have imagined in my whole life), lost a few pounds, gained a few and lost a few again. At least I haven’t lost my hair. I’ve bought and sold two apartments in Manhattan (what a schlep!), moved to Miami, and took up mahjong (no, not really on the mahjong).

I attended lots of Mama Gena Classes, which I adored. [For those of you interested in Mama Gena's classes, she's doing one mastery program this spring - just click this sentence to go to her site]. Oh, besides two new cats that we got in ‘01, we got two puppies that are so cute. The first puppy (Olive) was Schuyler’s bribe for moving to Miami. She immediately abdicated responsibility and Olive became mine. Lesson: Never trust a child who says she’ll take care of the dog that she has been begging for. She won’t. The second puppy (Bronco), I got against strict orders from Mark not to buy another dog. But he has forgiven me. If you’ll click below you can watch a short video I made about them. It started out as an innocent playtime video but then, mid-play, vultures began circling and the situation became dire. Click below to see how Olive saves Bronco, her little brother:

Olive and Bronco vs. the vultures

Oh my goodness gracious, now how did that picture find its way into my newsletter. Well, since it’s here, let me explain. Those are two of my dear Mama Gena friends, Joanne Porzio (with pearls) and Amy Aho, who got to meet Huge Jackman and Daniel Craig at A Steady Rain on Broadway. Hugh and Daniel auctioned off their undershirts and naturally, Joanne bought one (after lots of back and forth bidding and front-row flirting with Hugh). It was for a good, charitable cause. Do you see what happens when you take a Mama Gena class? You develop new found chutzpah to bid on Hugh and Daniel’s delicious, sweaty tee-shirts and then you get to hang out with them backstage (Hugh and Daniel, not the tee-shirts).

Friends Who Are Doing Cool Things

Sonny’s Rocks
I have so much to report in this department! First, my brother, Michael, opened the coolest, hippest jewelry store in Denver, Colorado. It’s called Sonny’s Rocks. Visit them next time you’re in Denver or check out their website at http://www.sonnysrocks.com/. Tell him you’re my friend and he’ll probably give you a huge discount.

Hooked for Good
My friend, Vicki Kline (we had our first babies within months of each other), just started a website called www.Hookedforgood.com. Check it out for some very cool merchandise. What woman doesn’t need cute hooks to hang her purses from?

MotherhoodLater.com
My friend, Robin Newman (we met at Canyon Ranch, where she was lecturing), has started a site devoted to women who become mothers after age 35 called www.motherhoodlater.com. Their blog is terrific and it’s a fantastic place for any mom who takes on motherhood later in life to find others going through the same experience. For all you single women out there, Robin also wrote the book, How to Marry a Mensch. Robin actually followed her own advice and married a mensch. Then she had a baby later in life and, well, you know what happened next.

Know Shampoo and Body Wash
I do have the most creative friends! George and Scott have developed the BEST “green” shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. George and Scott were my hairdressers in NY for years. They do Meridith Viera’s hair and were instrumental in getting me on The View. Well, now they’ve invented these amazing bath products. If only I could send you the smell through this computer, you would plotz! These products smell so fragrant and delicious. They are like a fresh burst of grapefruit and leave you feeling so clean. I use the products every day. Try them at http://www.knowhairandbody.com/.

South’nfrance Bon Bons
If you’ve never tasted the Bon Bons made by my dear friend, Charlene Dupray, what are you waiting for? Charlene left a big job in NY to go to Wilmington, NC with her husband to follow their dream – opening a chocolate factory. That’s Charlene in the picture with her cute French hubby. The bon bons are absolutely delicious and not expensive. My favorites are the coconut bon bons. If you yearn for chocolate and want to support two people who followed their passion, check them out at http://southnfrance.com/.

The Help
Okay, now we’re out of the section about cool things my friends have done. I don’t know the author of this book, but I do admire her. If you haven’t read The Help, definitely pick up a copy at Amazon.com. It’s about maids in the south during the 60’s and the women they work for. Having grown up in the South and seeing this phenomenon first hand, I found the book fascinating. I promise that you won’t be able to put it down.

Facebook and Twitter
If you haven’t found me on Facebook, I’m at karen nedler quinn. I’d love to be your friend. That’s my current Facebook picture. Schuyler and I took it at the photo booth at Sonny’s Rocks. If you’d like to follow my hilarious escapades, I can also be found on Twitter at karenquinnnyc. Frankly, I’m still figuring out Twitter but it’s fun to see what my friends are thinking and doing, plus I’m following some very smart people who have way more profound thoughts every day than I do.

Happy New Year to you all. Thank you for reading my newsletters. It means a lot to me to stay in touch with you. May all your dreams come true in 2010.

Love,

Karen

P.S. If we haven’t talked in a while (or even if we have), let me know how you’re doing. I love hearing good news and even bad news when it’s spun correctly.

October 12, 2009

Close Encounters of the Naked Kind

Alright, so Mark and I were walking Olive and our as-yet-unnamed-puppy on the beach last night when a naked man approached us.  As you may recall, I inadvertently moved my family next to a nude beach about a year ago.  It’s the nude beach for aging gay guys to be exact.  The nude beach for hot young gay guys is located in South Beach.  I don’t know where the nude beach for heterosexuals or lesbians can be found but perhaps you can google that.  Anyhow, this man wearing only (and I mean ONLY) black knee socks, brown sandals and a couple of mosquito bites went absolutely gaga over our dogs.  ”Oh my God!  They’re adorable.  What kind are they?”  ”Pomeranians,” I said as I stared at his penis trying to decide if he was indeed naked (he was).  Then, several other naked men approached (8 to be exact), all making adoring remarks about our dogs.  ”Is the black one one a puppy?” Nude-guy-with-saggy man-breasts asked.  ”What are their names?”  Naked-man-offering-Mark-a-beer wanted to know.  ”Where is Pomerania exactly? Is it near England?” Nude-guy-whose-entire-body-was-waxed (ouch! ouch! ouch!) wondered.  

Now, I consider myself an open-minded person.  I adore gay men – young ones, elderly ones, hairy ones, hairless ones.  I am perfectly fine with nudity.  I love when people compliment my dogs.  But for some reason, the combination of the above alarmed me.  Maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Law and Order, but my gut said that we were about to be attacked by a gang of naked gay old men.  Could one of them be carrying a gun?  But where?  Did they have rope to tie us up?  Oh my God, I thought, the leashes!  Even with Mark by my side, I was unnerved to be surrounded by so many random penises on that dark, lonely beach.  ”Where is Pomerania, Mark?” I asked in an effort to bond with my possible future captors.  ”It’s in the far east,” one of the guys suggested.  ”Ah, of course it is,” I said.  ”Well, not to be  nude, er, a prude, I mean rude, we must be going,” I said, grabbing Mark and very possibly saving his life.  Did I overreact?  You decide.

An act of husband disobedience

In case you’re wondering about our as-yet-unnamed-puppy or Bronco-Bandit-Brownie-Teddy Quinn as we sometimes call him, I found him on my trip to New York a few weeks ago.  Ever since, Schuyler moved to Manhattan to attend acting school, she had been clamoring for us to replace her with a puppy.  Mark was adamently against that idea and as I boarded my plane, he said to me (via cellphone), “Whatever you do, DON’T get a puppy.”  I don’t know about you but when someone tells me not to do something, that’s all I can think about doing.  On day-2 of my trip, I visited the pet store where we’d gotten our beloved Pomeranian, Olive (Schuyler’s bribe for moving to Miami, for which she immediately abdicated responsibility) and there he was – this perfect black little bear-like puppy with big brown eyes that said, “Buy me.  Buy me.” So, I bought him thinking I would give him to Mark as a surprise because, let’s face it, what better surprise than the puppy you ordered your wife NOT to get.  That was the plan but the day after we took the dog, the store owner called my house and left a message asking how the new puppy was doing.  Damn that store owner and her big, fat mouth!  Mark reacted exactly as I expected – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.  Luckily, he didn’t insist that I return the dog and he has since fallen in love with him (whew! Dodged that bullet.)  We now have two cats and two dogs, but at least I’ll never suffer from empty nest syndrome.

This will gross you out and make you think less of me

I’m back in Miami after a six-week hiatus (visiting Berlin, New York, Tucson, and generally goofing off).  After a week at Canyon Ranch with my mother, I was anxious to put my new workout schedule into practice.  So Saturday, I’m in the gym doing my interval work on the cross-trainer when a giant bug attacked me from behind.  Seriously, it looked like a roach with TV antennas and angel-sized wings.  The thing was as big as a flying mouse (the kind they have in Pomerania).  I was afraid to kill it (the crunch, the crunch – eawww!) so I asked one of my neighbors who was on the Elliptical machine to do it.  ”Tom” refused my request even though I told him to suck it up and be a man.  His name isn’t really “Tom.”  It’s Joe, but I don’t want to use his real name because he subscribes to my newsletter.  Whoops.  Anyway, Joe thought we should call maintenance and have them come in with bug spray.  This is what happens when you live in an ultra-luxury building where the staff does everything but wipe your ass.  You forget how to do simple tasks like taking your own groceries upstairs, carrying your own luggage, or killing a bug.  I’m not blaming Joe.  I’m as guilty as he.  Recently, Bronco-Bandit-Brownie-Teddy tinkled in front of the health club and a staff member immediately appeared to clean it up and I…this is the truly awful part…let him. Eventually, a maintenance man showed up at the gym with a broom and he pummeled the flying roach to his untimely death.  I kissed him (the maintenance man, not the roach) and called him “my hero.”  See how little it takes to make you a hero, Joe.  Think about that.

A new book I recommend

Finally, my friend, Joseph Kanon, has a new book out that I want to recommend.  It’s called Stardust.  Joe is a wonderful historical novelist, having written Los Alamos and The Good German (this was made into a movie starring my favorite actor, George Clooney – sigh!).   As the story opens, Army translator and filmmaker Ben Collier has returned from war-torn Europe and is on a Hollywood-bound train surrounded by industry players.  He’s on his way to the hospital where his only sibling, his brother Daniel, is in a coma and not expected to live.  The details, delivered by Danny’s wife Liesl over a bad phone connection, were numbing.  Danny was alone at a hotel…a fall from a balcony…a tragic accident, or so the papers said. Later Liesl would suggest that Danny’s employer, or more specifically, his studio’s publicity department, had intervened, turning what was most likely a suicide attempt into a less sensational accident. But Ben can’t quite wrap his brain around the idea that Danny would actually try take his own life. True, the brothers hadn’t been particularly close since their parents’ divorce, but still, the details of  what happened are just off.  Why would a man with the world by the tail – a beautiful wife, a successful producing career, and a heroic past – try to kill himself? The book has everything you want in a good page-turner – Hollywood in the 40’s, murder, anti-communist loyalty hearings, Auschwitz horrors, war stories, romance and family secrets.  If you’re looking to lose yourself in a book, this is a good one.  Click this sentence to buy Stardust

Of course, if you haven’t read The Sister Diaries yet, that’s a good one too.    Click this sentence to buy The Sister Diaries.  Forgive me, but I’m a hopeless book plugger, especially of my own books.  

I hope you have a great fall!

Karen

P.S. My friend, BL Ochman’s dog, BennyBix Ochman is in the running to win the cutest dog competition contest (there’s a $1,000,000 prize!).  BennyBix is an adorable Labradoodle who is as sweet as he is cute.  Check him out by clicking this sentence and give BennyBix your vote.  

September 8, 2009

Dear Friends,

Welcome back to real life. Personally, I am thrilled that summer is over because I live in Florida and this is ground zero for heat and humidity in North America. Barring a hurricane, it can only be uphill from here.

Meanwhile, I’m just back from vacation in Berlin and Prague, a vacation that almost didn’t happen. As I was enjoying the mandatory pre-vacation mani-pedi, Mark called to inform me that my passport had expired. Urgent calls were made to the travel agent who referred us to the Passport Office website where we learned I could get an emergency passport issued but needed an appointment to do so. The next appointment available was six days into my planned vacation. Drat! Foiled – or so I believed.

Thinking I may be able to charm my way into the Passport Office, I showed up the next morning and sat in the appointment line. It soon became obvious that the large guard with the gun was checking for appointment numbers and anyone without one was relegated to the non-appointment line (where, I’m told, the situation was hopeless). Double drat! Lucky for me I am a charming person and my fellow line-sitters took pity on me and my story. They showed me the numbers they had been given when they made their appointments. All started with 399 and were followed by 5 other random digits. Desperate, I made up my own appointment number and prayed that the guard wouldn’t see through my ruse and send me to a God-forsaken prison because, as you know, the government takes passport related capers pretty seriously these days (I refuse to call what I did a crime). Luckily, my diabolical ploy worked and by 3:00 p.m. I had my new passport, too late to make my plane but only one day of vacation lost. Who thinks about their passport expiring? From now on I will and you should too.

We were going to Berlin to see the World Track and Field Championship with our good friends. I mainly went for the sightseeing, but I have to admit that it was very cool to see Usain Bolt break the world record for the 100 and 200 meter races.

Berlin is an amazing city and I recommend that you go if you ever have a chance. Between the Nazis and the Berlin Wall, there is so much historical significance to the place. Everywhere you look, you see something incredible, from the tracks where Jews were taken to Concentration Camps to the site of Hitler’s bunker to pieces of the Berlin Wall to the Holocaust Museum and that’s just the beginning. Of course, now every tour includes a visit to the hotel from which Michael Jackson dangled his baby (there’s a plaque at the window) and the hospital that Farrah Fawcett came to for her cancer treatments.

One of the strangest things about Berlin is that people are allowed to sunbathe nude in all the city parks and they do. Let me tell you, it’s disconcerting to walk through a bustling city park dotted with naked people. On the beach, I can see it, but in the city? That’s just weird. There was also a first and second class citizen thing going on between the West and East Berliners. I saw a woman changing her bra right on the street and my taxi driver just rolled his eyes and muttered, “East Berliner.”

For me, the most moving moments came when we visited the Sachsenhausen concentration camp outside Berlin. This is something I’ve heard about all my life but to see it with my own eyes is a whole different experience. This particular camp was located right in the middle of a neighborhood, surrounded by homes that people lived in while it was used. Did these people know what was going on and do nothing? Ironically, it was in this camp that the imprisoned Pastor Martin Niemoller wrote: “First they came for the Communists and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me.” To all those people who lived outside that concentration camp and didn’t speak up, I hope your property values plummeted. Seeing the bleak living conditions at the camp, the kitchen where inmates peeled potatoes, the showers where many met their demise, the crematorium – everything was eerily brought to life. I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest the entire time.

Speaking of Nazi Germany…I went to see Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds yesterday and I highly recommend it. If you love Nazi revenge movies and seeing dead Nazis being scalped (and who doesn’t!), walk, don’t run to your local theater. But back to my story. When we got to Prague there was another concentration camp that I really wanted to see. Mark was reluctant because the first one had been so depressing. “What more can there be?” He asked. “Maybe they have a better crematorium,” I suggested. “You know, the one we saw was half falling apart. And the showers, the showers at this other camp still have the original shower heads. At Sachsenhausen, they were all gone. Aren’t you curious to see the real shower heads?” Don’t ask me why but I really wanted to see the real shower heads and the more intact crematorium. Mark disagreed so we decided to see another (yawn!) palace instead. European palaces are as common as Korean delis in NYC.

If you ever go to Prague, my advice is to only stay two days. That’s all you need. The Palace we visited in place of the concentration camp was the Lobkowicz Palace. The Lobkowicz family goes all the way back to the 12th Century and they were one of the richest families in Prague. During WWII, the Nazis seized the palace and all the treasures inside (boo!). After the war, the family got it back (yay!), only to have it seized again by the communists (boo!). When the Wall fell and communist rule ended, the family (which had lost their money and moved to America) had one year to find everything that had been theirs and reclaim it (yay!). They did and have spent the last 20 years restoring the palace, its contents and creating a private museum. I have to admit that it’s definitely worth the visit if your husband doesn’t want to see another concentration camp.

Thanks to all of you who bought my new book, The Sister Diaries. I’m excited to say that it has sold really well in the UK this summer. I also appreciate those of you who wrote and told me if was your favorite of mine so far (awww, gee, heck). If you haven’t read it yet and want to, just click right here and you can order a copy. If you’re in the US, you won’t believe how fast it comes. And they send it by ROYAL Mail! Isn’t that cool?

Meanwhile, I spent the summer completing a non-fiction book that will be out next summer. It’s called Testing for Kindergarten and it’s about what parents can easily and naturally do at home so that their young children who are given intelligence tests for admission to private kindergarten or gifted programs will do really well. Even if your child is going to public kindergarten, she’ll be tested for placement in ability groups from the get-go and this book teaches you what to do so your child gets placed in higher ability group (which really makes a long-term difference). As parents, we are expert in keeping our children’s bodies healthy, but most of us don’t understand intellectual development enough to know how to nourish their brains. This book teaches you how to do this. Anyway, it will be out next summer so if you have a young child, I hope you’ll get a copy. I promise it’s not one of those boring how-to books. It has lots of humor in it (I know, you’re surprised).

Well, it is the day after labor day so I guess it’s back to the grind for me. I’m getting ready to visit Schuyler in NYC next week. She just got her own apartment there and is about to start an acting conservatory. I’m going for the pre-college-Mom-takes-freshman-child-to-Bed-Bath-and-Beyond-shopping-expedition. After that, my mom and I are taking our annual trip to Canyon Ranch in Tucson. Okay, I guess it’s not really back to the grind for me, at least not yet. But I just wanted to say hello and touch base with you all. Drop me a line and let me know what you’re up to if you have the time.

Love,

Karen

P.S. If you wish to befriend me on facebook (and why wouldn’t you), I can be found at Karen Nedler Quinn. I promise to say yes.

P.P.S. In case you’re wondering about the statues below, they’re of two men who are peeing (yes, that’s where the water comes out). They’re from the Franz Kafka Museum in Prague. The very idea of peeing statues is surreal but I guess that was the point.

July 6, 2009

Dear Friends,

I have spine-tingling news to report! My new book, The Sister Diaries, is being released today in the UK. So, for those of you in the UK, you can go to your nearest bookstore to get a copy. And for those of you in the US who want to read it now but aren’t traveling to the UK this summer, click AMAZON.COM (right here!) and you can order the book from England. I’d tell you to wait until it is released in the states but that will be a while.

Let me share some juicy bits about The Sister Diaries…it is the story of three sisters who live in Tribeca (my old Manhattan neighborhood). Amanda, the oldest, is a hotshot real-estate broker whose business is in a slump (given today’s difficult market). Serena is a self-centered Manhattan momzilla with a genius son and a troubled marriage. Laura, the youngest, is an aspiring singer who spent the last six years caring for their mother, Sunny, who just died from Alzheimer’s. The book opens with the reading of Sunny’s will.

The sisters expect to divide the inheritance between them – a multi-million dollar home on Duane Park and a priceless painting. Each desperately needs her share of the estate.

Her sisters don’t know it, but Amanda used the power of attorney Sunny had given her to take out a four million dollar mortgage against the family home and (in an attempt to diversify their portfolio) invested it with Bernie Madoff! After losing everything, she fell behind on the mortgage payments borrowed from an unsavory loan shark and is now being chased by a ruthless collector. Serena and Laura have equally compelling needs for cash, so they are as anxious as Amanda to divide the estate.

When the will is read, Sunny has left everything to Serena, the least worthy of the sisters. No one can understand why except for Serena who (naturally) thinks she deserves it.

People often ask me how I come up with the plots for my books. They are always inspired by something in my own life and this book is no different. One of my husband’s friends had been promised an inheritance. At the reading of the will, he discovered that a person close to him, someone he trusted completely, had unduly influenced the woman who died, causing him to be disinherited. You can imagine the feelings of betrayal and anger. That got me thinking about how money can destroy families. I wondered how three sisters who had always loved and supported each other might (or might not) get through something like this.

As always, people I know inspired the characters. Amanda, the hotshot real estate broker, is the sister who always took care of everything, the responsible one. Doesn’t every family have one of those? I also really wanted to write a broker character. To me, there is nothing more intriguing than Manhattan real estate. Peeking inside those multi-million dollar mansions in the sky and imagining the lives led within is the source of endless fascination. I spoke to several brokers in New York who shared their most riveting real estate tales, and those provided fodder for the plot. Trust me, you can’t make this stuff up!

Serena is based on a combination of momzillas I have known. Surely you have met one yourself – a woman so impossible that she drives her child to drink (orange juice, but still).

Serena will stop at nothing to promote her son’s meteoric rise to his first Pulitzer (including plopping him on a portable potty in the aisle of first class during take-off to “move his bowels” – momzillas always use proper language). Much of Serena’s wretched behavior is based on real things I’ve seen these women do, only I had to tone her down or you’d just hate her. As it is, she’s this ridiculous, self-centered, comical woman whom you will laugh and shake your head at, and be glad she’s not your next-door-neighbor. As misguided as she is, the moms I based her on are worse.

Laura is a combination of two good friends (with a lot of imagination mixed in). She’s one part my single friend, Laura, who gave me some hysterical dating stories that I managed to weave in. She’s another part Anne, who is now a big media executive, but who used to deliver singing telegrams for a living wearing these nutty costumes. That’s a job I gave to the character of Laura. Anne went back to her roots, writing all the singing telegrams that Laura delivers in the book. She was also kind enough to share her experiences and feelings about caring for her mother, Margaret, who suffers from Alzheimer’s. The character of Sunny was inspired in part by Margaret whom I never met but grew to love through her daughter’s stories.

Each sister is the heroine of her own dramatic tale. Will Amanda make the sale she needs to ditch the loan shark and pay back the money she lost on the house before her sisters discover her secret? Will Serena’s marriage end as badly as her son’s interview at Madison Prep? Can Laura raise the money her band mate needs for a lifesaving operation in time to audition for the film soundtrack that could make her a star? Will the sisters discover why Sunny left everything to Serena? Will they find a way to make peace with each other? Besides these sizzling subplots, the book is filled with steamy romance, tearful moments, and lots of laughs.

As you can tell, I’m excited about the story and I hope you love it. It’s a real page-turner that will keep you glued to the text on a long plane ride or by the pool this summer. I hope you’ll let me know what you think after you read it! If you’d like to order a copy right now, just click AMAZON.COM (right here) to get your copy.

Happy reading,

Karen Quinn

P.S. The story about Laura applying for the hostess job for a billionaire on his private jet is absolutely true! It happened to a friend of mine. You don’t know what I’m talking about right now but you will when you read the book and you will be SHOCKED! I was.

May 3, 2009

Dear Friends,

The Miami Social Whirl.
It has been waaaaay too long since I’ve written. You know I live in Miami Beach now and I suppose you figured out that I got all caught up in the social whirl at Turnberry Ocean Colony, the super exclusive ultra-fancy condo building where I reside. Seriously, our building is SO fancy that residents fly their dogs in to visit on private jets. We’re so fancy here that people have to specify which color they mean when asking the valet for their Rolls Royce – “I feel like driving the blue one today.” We’re so fancy here that the Cher of Russia lives in our north tower. Yes, Russia has a Cher; doesn’t every country? We’re so fancy here that at the last condo association meeting residents were fighting over how much MORE they wanted to pay for services instead of less. We’re so fancy here that everyone addresses each other by their royal titles (except for Mark and I who, as I mentioned in an earlier newsletter, are the Beverly Hillbillies of Turnberry Ocean Colony).

The season has been an absolute madhouse, what with all the parties, charity balls, beach bashes and fashion shows in which I did not partake. It wasn’t that I wasn’t invited, although I wasn’t. No, I was on a strict diet all winter long. On the positive side, I dropped 25 pounds and look mah-velous! With the post-Passover exodus, most of my neighbors have left and the beach has become a lonely place. Even the nudists flew north for the summer.

I got to meet Conan O’Brien!
One great feature about living in Miami is that everyone comes to visit. Not long ago, my friend Anne who works for NBC flew in on business. She was schlepping Conan O’Brien across the country to visit all the affiliate stations before he debuts the Tonight Show in June. Anyway, Conan is my all-time-favorite-comedy-genius-hero. I wanted to meet him but didn’t want to act all celebrity struck. Naturally, I did anyway, falling to my knees and begging Anne to arrange a meeting and dawggonit to heck, she did! After dinner at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Anne, Schuyler, and I met up with Cone. That’s what I call him now. He calls me Kar. Cone was everything I dreamed of in a comedy-genius-hero and more! Impossibly tall, with carrot-colored hair, the man was kind, generous, and hysterically funny. Seriously, everything that came out of his mouth made me laugh. I don’t think he can help himself. He is scary smart and doesn’t miss a trick. The best part was that he counseled Schuyler about the high school play in which she was about to appear, giving her some advice based on his own high school acting days. She told him she wanted to become an actress and he said that he fully expected to have her on his show someday talking about her latest film. Wasn’t that a generous of him to say? I tell you, that Cone, he’s the man.

How I dropped 25 Pounds and you can too!
Okay, back to the twenty-five pounds I lost. Do you want to know how I did it? If you’re one of those skinny bitches, just skip this part. If not, read on:
1. You gotta want it bad. I think this is key to accomplishing anything really. I was beginning to look like a ball and my desire to lose the weight finally surpassed my desire to eat.
2. I ate between 1,000 – 1,200 calories a day five days a week (I took weekends off and ate and drank whatever I wanted). A typical daily menu was a multi-vitamin, honey-nut cheerios and non-fat milk for breakfast, cottage cheese and pineapple chunks for lunch, honey-nut cheerios and non-fat milk for dinner, a 100-calorie pack of pop corn for a snack. Hey, I didn’t say this was a healthy diet. For a healthy diet, read Skinny Bitch.
3. Here’s the secret weapon: I drank about four Kellogg’s powdered protein lemonade drinks (30 calories) and powdered fiber lemonade drinks (20 calories) every day (about 100 calories in total). These drinks fills you up and you aren’t hungry. Warning: They cause gas. I just blamed it on the dog when anyone mentioned it.
4. I worked out A LOT!!! Mostly I did cardio on the treadmill and the stair-stepper machine. When I say A LOT, I averaged two hours a day. It helped to exercise in front of the TV. A good drama always kept me going. Because of knee problems, I couldn’t work out hard so I had to settle for long.

That’s my secret. I went from 135 to 110 between January 15 and now and I’m continuing to stick with the program. So if you want to lose weight, this is the formula that worked for me.

Meet me under the Penis at the Time Warner Center
I’m happy to report that Schuyler will be attending Stella Adler Acting Studio in the fall, so I’ll have yet another reason to visit New York. After 25 years, NYC got into my blood and I’m having serious withdrawal pains, finding any reason to get back as often as I can. My latest excuse is an ovarian cyst my Manhattan doctor is watching. Last time I visited, he discovered another one. Yipee!!! I thought. One more reason to come back to NY. Then I thought, I should probably go see my old psychiatrist for thinking that. Yeow!!! Yet another reason to return to NY. Every time I go there, I discover something new. Last visit, my friend told me to meet her under the pen-s at the Time Warner Center (I’d better not spell it out or your spam filters will grab this). I had no idea what she meant until I saw the anatomically correct Botero statues in the lobby. Next time you go to NYC, check it out. Tourists act perfectly ridiculous in the presence of that pen-s. Seriously, they make complete and utter fools of themselves, taking pictures of themselves measuring it, massaging it, kissing it. Can you die? What losers! That’s me in the picture pretending like the statue is peeing on my head.

Hedge Fund Wives
If you’re looking for a good summer read, my friend Tatiana Boncompagni’s new book, Hedge Fund Wives, is out May 5. I read an early draft of it and it’s gloriously gossipy! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Here’s the synopsis:

In this amazingly timely story about what the wealthy do when Wall Street lays an egg, the author of Gilding Lily once again delivers a witty and insightful treatment of today’s woman, as she explores the sacrifices they make, the bargains they strike, the rules they follow, and what happens when it all starts to fall apart.

Who could have guessed that Wall Street would go south just as Marcy Emerson and her husband moved east? Down to earth Marcy relocated from Chicago to New York when her husband was offered a big time job as a hedge fund manager.

Still, it’s not until her husband leaves her for his thinner, blonder mistress—a woman who is higher up the social ladder than the original Mrs. Emerson will ever be—that Marcy decides to stand on her own two feet once again, and fight for the things that are far more important than money.

The Sister Diaries
If you happen to live in the UK, The Sister Diaries will be released in July. I’m not sure when it’s coming out in the US, but will let you know as soon as I do. It was a tough book for me to write because it centers around three main characters that had to be fully developed. My other books feature one measly character (SO much easier!). It was dramatic, emotional, mysterious and humorous all at the same time, which was challenging to pull off. I think I did it, though, and I hope you’ll agree. Here’s short description:

Although they couldn’t be more different, Amanda, Serena and Laura Moon have always been there for one another. Amanda sizzles in the high stakes arena of New York City real estate – but drags herself home each night to a cold, empty bed. From senior executive at Prada, Serena is now an over-the-top stay-at-home mom, plunging her marriage into crisis and her four-year-old into therapy. Laura spent the last six years caring for their dying mother. Now she is trying to breathe new life into her abandoned music career. Emotions explode when the sisters learn that their mother left everything – the multi-million dollar family home and a priceless painting – to selfish, undeserving Serena. But why? In an effort to make sense of the bequest, the girls journey to East Hampton to unravel the mystery behind their mother’s past, setting off a chain of events that threatens the very core of their sisterhood.

I borrowed the girls’ last name from good friend Nancy Moon. The book is full of juicy real estate stories, all based on true events revealed to me by some of Manhattan’s top agents. Laura is single and her experiences are inspired by stranger-than-fiction stories that my girlfriends told me. Serena is modeled after some very real Manhattan Momzillas I have known through the years. I couldn’t make her as crazy as the real ones, though, or you’d hate her. There is also an adorable little boy named Sebastian, a genius with a secret pacifier habit, who is one of my favorite characters ever. Anyway, be sure to pick up a copy if you’re in the UK. In fact, you can pre-order right now. Just click this sentence and you’ll be at the Amazon page where you can order it.

Oh, by the way, would you like to be my friend on Facebook? If so, search for Karen Nedler Quinn. That’s it for now my future Facebook friends. I’m off to enjoy the beautiful Miami sunshine.

Love,

Karen Nedler Quinn